A little something i wrote during Memorial day weekend.
I had already forgotten about this until a friend of mine (Leah) read it and reminded me.
So I decided to just share it to the world.
May it bring you clarity or insight on your journey.
I honor the Divinity in all of you.
I knew I was always blessed...just didn't understand the why or how until today.
Today I allowed my heart to lead me through the city.
Opening my heart & body with boxing. Moving the energy within me.
Being grateful I have $ to deposit to banks & pay bills.
Thanking the universe for giving me a lovely penny at the teller's window.
Treating myself to my favorite bubble tea & listening to my intuition where to go next.
I was hungry & no food called to me.
I was near the buddhist temple & I desired to go there.
I don't consider myself religious. I do like to pay my respects to my roots and to the Divine.
I heard my mind saying "forget it. get back to work. lots to do."
No! I stood for my desire because there's a reason today was a beautiful walking day & I was just a block away.
Everytime I walk through the temple doors, it transforms me to another world & time.
I bow down to the Great jolly Buddha (with his effervescent smile) as I walk up the stairs
to pray & offer my gratitudes & wishes.
I walk through & honor each Buddha & realize my timing is perfect & elegant.
Today was a special day (only happens few times a mnth) & there was vegeterian food cooked at the temple. There was a gathering of wise old ladies chatting away, eating the food prepared for us. I knew I was meant to join them. I was a part of them, yet I was also an observer. Their chatter was soothing & took me into a conscious trance. I was there yet on a different plane.
As I ate my food & whispered "thank you Buddha for blessing me with this food..." I felt like I went on a spiritual adventure & received answers I never even knew I had questions about.
This Buddhist temple was my home ever since I could remember. I actually had a desire to become a Buddhist nun until I fell in love with medium rare steak (Thanks Ali, there's a reason for everything). That was when I had to create a different spiritual path for myself.
I was the little princess that was loved by the monks as they watched me blossom. This was my special playground, my secret garden, my altar, my sacred space whenever a storm would hit... I could count on experiencing peace & joy here, every time. The old ways contained mystery, magic & power that was somehow right in the middle of NYC. It had been there for me to strengthen & grow my roots.
I suddenly realized why I was blessed with the life I had.
My parents worked very hard to create a better life for me & their loved ones.
If they weren't such hard workers where they barely saw each other...
and if my mom hadn't been so in love with my dad...she never would've joined him on a car ride at 6am everyday (when she didn't have to) and he would drop us off in Manhattan while he drove to NJ for work.
She would wander around Chinatown until my class started (1st grade).
If my mom wasn't wandering around the city at 6am, she would never discover that the temple was open very early & she could take me there until time for school. A place to sit & relax as long as we want. Free.
If she was on her normal work schedule, we would never have time to visit the temple because that was considered playtime which we did not have.
I do not remember much from 1-7yrs old.
I often resented not remembering. Perhaps this is why.
So my mind remains neutral and blank for other information.
What I do know was my mom brought me to the Buddhist temple every morning for 3 years.
Everyday I was at a Buddhist temple at early hours in the morning, at a young age, listening to their daily meditations even though I didn't understand the chanting words.
The head master blessed me & I don't know what that means. Now I understand.
I had absorbed & soaked in the energy of the place. I may not know what the scriptures say or what's the textbook version of Buddhism of famous quotes.
I do know the teachings are in me someway somehow. What I do know is its home for me. The Buddhas have always looked over me, guiding & protecting me from harm.
I've never felt alone. I knew they were close & I could find comfort if I called to them.
I realized I was the guardian angel for my parents. To help them as they struggled to success. I wasn't a baby or child...i stepped into being responsible as soon as I could hold my own bottle in 6 mnths. Many of the stories my parents told me didn't make sense. How did I understand to stop crying at the count of 1,2, 3 at 3mnths old so they could sleep and get to work early? How can a 1yr old understand to poop in the morning by command into the garbage basket in order to save diaper money? Pooping once a day made it easier for mom to find a babysitter. they didn't have to clean or feed me. I was self sufficient.
Somehow, someway, I did understand. I made their lives easy. They barely had to worry about me.
Play in my dictionary was working, being responsible, & getting things done. I played "help mommy with grocery" (when the bag was bigger than me, it was quite amusing when I wouldn't let that stop me), soldering iron assistant for my dad at 3yrs old, secretary, bookkeeping, assembly line packer, stockgirl, delivery girl, display girl. These were all roles I can play with as if it was a Barbie doll putting on an outfit.
I was blessed to help out at my parents business everyday after school (yes they worked 7 days) to learn how to listen to customer's desires. I learned how to create value & service so they came back to me even though we were a small shop & couldn't compete with big chain stores.
I was blessed to grow up early and skip childhood play (or play whenever I could squeeze in play while working).
Now, that I'm an adult, my life revolves around how to create play in an adult life.
My life's purpose is to be a Joyful Vibrational Blessing.
To Spark & Transform Everyone in my life & beyond.
To bring back the teachings of sacred intimacy, rituals/respect & intentions/integrity. (siri).
As my heart opens up more & longer...I am able to connect to the pure source & feel the beauty of life.
I am proud of myself.
Who i've been.
Who I am...
and who I am becoming.
I am grateful for everyone in my life that has made me who I am.
Thank you.
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